Better or Worse?

Is it better or worse that today I avoided her entirely? That I was willfully spending the whole day with my child out of my house. Shopping for non urgent items, running non essential errands, delivering a birthday gift 2 months early, and then drinking too much wine at my sister’s house and keeping us out way too late?

Is it better or worse that when we got home our roommate was eating dinner with S? She hasn’t eaten dinner with us since she got here and her eating dinner with him has never really been her thing anyway… so of COURSE the very first night T and I stay out late we come to see her sitting with him. Insulting.

Then I notice he is eating a frozen pepperoni pizza. It was ALL I HAD not to ask if he was eating that same nasty pizza that we have each individually brought upstairs to cook and then gagged at the strong cigarette smell on and inside the box, and immediately returned it downstairs. How is possible for cigarette smoke to invade the freezer like that???

Anyway… we visited for a bit while T showed them various things we had bought and then we went down to get ready for bed. S came in and looked wiped out. “Too. Much. Complaining.” He said. Apparently our new roommate was eager to tell him all about our weeding conversation yesterday. “I heard the story from you yesterday and I heard the same story from her today. It is TOO. MUCH.”

Was I not clear? Team S. I am Team S. TEAM. It’s both of us together. Complaining about me when I am not home to the very man I am trying to protect from you is not your best move. And I am truly sorry to have to keep repeating myself - especially when this seems so painfully obvious… BUT WE DID NOT WANT THAT GARDEN. So we don’t care about how much money you spent on it. We don’t care about the work that goes in to it. We super don’t care what you think we should be doing to help it. Here is what I care about… and ONLY THIS… so listen carefully. I care about taking care of my family. I care about caring for my husband who is working his butt off for us right now. I care about giving him 1 hour to relax and unwind when he gets home before going to bed. I just wish his mother would take off her selfish glasses long enough to care about that too.

I don’t even know anymore. Would it be better or worse if she randomly said

“Hey - thanks for going to my house today just to pull the overflowing garbage and recycling to the curb because they would have been too heavy for me.”

Worse. Definitely worse.