Communication by Ambush

My new roommate shares information via attack ambush. There are no conversations. There is a refusal to join us for meals too so that is out. There is only this feeling that there is a vortex around her that traps you and stuns you and the only thing you are able to do is listen and take it all in. S was seriously considering finding a back entrance to the house last week so he could have just a second to wash up and change before the ambush. T has verbalized that she doesn’t always like to go talk to her because she gets sucked in and there are too many questions.

This morning was a bit more hectic than normal. T was up late and then slow to wake up. Her ride was coming for camp at 8:20 and at 8:00 she was still asleep and resisting my attempts to wake her up. I was in the kitchen packing her lunch, getting all of her water bottles ready, trying to fit more items into her backpack she could use as invention materials and monitoring the clock so I could go back and nudge T again.

Then my roommate ambushed me in the kitchen. **(my inside voice comments in italics)

Can you believe it? B was actually watering his yard this morning! I mean, he has been running that hose non stop. It’s his sump pump so his house doesn’t flood.

T has been really standoffish with me lately so I’m giving her space. She doesn’t like the ambush either.

How do you wash that white rug in the basement? I have never one time washed that rug.

I’d like to finish cleaning that bathroom and shower today. We’d all like you to shower today.

Do I have any marmalade left? No idea.

I thought I had some. If I don’t I’ll have to order it. They used to have it at Tuesday Morning. It was only $6 there. Why did they close? Sometimes I can find it at Marshalls. Does HomeGoods have food? Well I have to order it today and it is going to cost me $14 a jar. Oh, don’t look now. I am looking. I cannot talk about marmelade any more.

Do you have anything in the washer? No.

Did you tell T I saw the fawns? No.

Is it going to rain today? Don’t know. Don’t care.

Where is T?

So she left to go get the rug, I wrestled T out of bed, then my roommate came back upstairs with the rug and T looked at me horrified and angry whispered “WHY IS SHE WASHING THE RUG?” I shouldn’t love that she is my inside voice, but I do. We got everything for camp together, water bottles filled, temperature taken, lunch packed and breakfast was Cheerios she decided to eat out of a cup in the backseat of her friend’s car.

Ride arrived and she said sure - you can eat as long as you don’t spill. So T promptly spilled as she was getting in. Of course. At which point the pest guy arrived and told me he would give the rain 10 minutes to come and then pass and then he would begin. No problem. I also may have mentioned that he shouldn’t be alarmed by the old lady chain smoking under the deck. “So, not a nuisance, don’t spray her?” he said.

“Just don’t spray her.”