A bit of history

The toughest relationships typically don’t start bad. They aren’t generally just bad from the get go. I think that the toughest relationships have a history of really challenging experiences. If we were dating we would have broken up. If we were friends (or sisters even) we would have walked away from the drama. But she is S’s Mom and he is all she has and my job is to find a way to deal with it because I love him.

This blog post is a slightly edited email that I sent to T’s 1st and 2nd grade teachers last December. It is a run down of one really challenging experience, as well as an ode to my bad ass daughter and the ER staff at Ridges Burnsville because they were incredible. Every. Single. One of them.

(email starts here)

Hey – We had quite the eventful night tonight so I want to give you some insight into the kid walking in the door this morning.   Copying (1st grade teacher) because I know T goes in for her daily hug before breakfast and generally has something to say.

Her Grandma was in the ER again last night due to a hip dislocation.   This has happened about 6 times over the last few years and we all know the drill.   Often times T goes with her Grandma and the X Ray Tech because she is interested in the whole X Ray Process. Last night T took it up a level and wanted to stay in the room while they got the hip back in and I said ok.  But the process turned out to be incredibly hard and long and stressful and I asked her to leave with me several times when they took a break to catch their breath but she refused to budge. (She does not change her mind).  The X Ray came in to take the new X Ray to confirm the hip was really in and before the Dr could make it to the portable X Ray to read it T stopped him and announced  “well THAT didn’t work”  which you know I love so much because it means she can read an X Ray and identify a hip out of joint.   S was there by then and he was the right distraction for T so we went to get food and didn’t witness the second procedure. 

After the 2nd procedure Grandma became belligerent and mean and was insisting she be released and she was yelling at the staff. They placed a medical hold on her and when they went to say goodbye she was stupid mean to S AND to T not even making eye contact and saying “don’t ever talk to me again.” We are just getting Tessie to bed now.  There are lots of tears.  It is very late for her.

Here is the thing.  T is an all fact bad ass argue to the death kid when she needs to be.  And she did stand next to the doctor at the foot of Grandma’s bed and while he chose his words carefully about her needing to stay in the hospital overnight and she did not.  She went toe to toe with her and she didn’t back down and I KNOW she is 7 and she isn’t the adult but I am just so damn proud of her for fighting the fight while Steve and I were skulking in the back fighting back tears.    We left to go to the waiting room and cried to relieve the stress and then  we heard the security code being called to the room to place the hold on her. Tessie was saying “well she CAN’T leave so they can just LOCK HER IN THERE”  which she had zero idea was exactly what was happening in that moment.

So..  I’m not sure how much of that experience will wake up with her and if it seems like she needs a little extra love tomorrow that is why.  

Also,  I’m picking her up at 2 so we can go to Chicago for the weekend.   I will call the office to report her absence Friday as well.   I just need her green headphones for the plane.