Still more history
Our lives today are a collection of all of our experiences before today. This is true for all of us but it is on my mind a lot lately. If I hadn’t already collected so many frustrating situations with her in the last few years it would be a lot easier for me to support her in what is absolutely a stressful time for her. I don’t know if it is her reaction to stress or her need to control or just her full on victim mode, but it is very hard for me.
Three years ago she slipped getting out of the shower. This resulted in completely shattering her kneecap, dislocating her hip and breaking her pelvis. This was a major injury. It included immediate reconstructive surgery, as well as transitional care at Masonic, and a pretty regular line up of doctors visits. It happened the day after that major hail storm in Blaine - where so many of our customers live and so Steve was in overdrive walking roofs, meeting with insurance adjusters and basically making hay while the sun shone. Leaving me to… do the rest. T was at Primrose Eagan at the time. So every day after work I would pick her up, drive to Burnsville to FEED THE CATS (ugh) get the mail and pick up an urgent but non essential item, and then get back home hopefully in time to get T in bed by 7. Because she was a little girl and she needed to be in bed by 7.
Maybe some days S was in the area and could feed the cats in which case we went to visit our future roommate at the Masonic home. It is worth mentioning that at that time she didn’t like us altering the feeding schedule for the cats because they would overeat if fed too early. There was also an ongoing litany about cat food and her fear that we would run out. Apparently the cat food was very exclusive and hard to find (PetSmart) but I was miraculously able to get it at Amazon and set up a subscription so it showed up on her doorstep every 4 weeks. I also gave in and picked up the “huge order” she had called in to PetSmart which was indeed a LOT of cat food. More than she would need, you might say.
Ultimately, not long after she returned home after Masonic the cat died. I was then left with a few cases of cat food that I left with one of our renters to feed to their cats and one amusing day when I opened up the mailbox there was a box inside of it holding the cats remains.
But I digress.
Since she returned home at that time we have moved her to the main level, then back to the basement, then up to the mail level multiple times. We moved everything to have hardwood installed so she could use her walker easily and hopefully age in place there. She has dislocated her hip at least one time every 6 months.
AT LEAST ONE TIME EVERY SIX MONTHS.
Enough times that we know the drill. Enough times that T knows she can get snacks from the nurses station. Enough times that T knows she can accompany the x ray tech into x ray. Enough times that T can look at the x ray and identify a dislocated hip.
Don’t ask me why, but often she isn’t dressed appropriately so she calls us to come make her decent first. (If you haven’t received a call from your husband asking you to go put pants on his mom and then call 911 you haven’t lived).
Her dislocations have occurred on the following occasions
The evening before the first day of Kindergarten. No build up and bedtime snuggling and talking about Kindergarten and leisurely packing a lunch. Just mania and hospitals and x rays and dinner out of a vending machine and a late bedtime. And then getting reprimanded by the Kindergarten teacher after going back to school with my crying kid because she wasn’t allowed to bring her Blanket back home with her.
The day of her Kindergarten conference. The one I needed to be at so her teacher could demonstrate she understood my child. And yes, we got there, but barely. In the commotion we locked my keys in the car at her condo and the contractor putting in the floor actually drove me home, then Steve jumped in the back of his work van and I came screeching into the school parking lot, opened the back door so S could tumble out and we raced in side with just enough time to spare so the principal could greet us and tell us how great the teacher was. And my mind was racing because I was nervous and stressed and late and I was certain he was handling me but I also fell a bit in love with him for knowing I needed it.
The day before we left for a long weekend we had been planning. That one is best for another post.
And December 22, lets not forget that one. Another one that will be it’s own post.