12-24 hours

Almost all of my free time is spent on VRBO trying to find somewhere to go so I can not be here. And then every time I find something I cannot justify spending the money.

The rest of my time is spent arguing with T because she is also stressed out by our roommate being here and therefore everything is a fight. Everything is a fight. All day. Every day. She is a wreck.

So I am a wreck and I have a near frantic need to be anywhere but here. The house is feeling like a prison that is never clean. It isn’t calm here. There is nothing calm here. Even if T is gone and I am here I am still not here alone. I can still smell smoke. There is still the possibility she will come up here and suck me into some negative situation. Or that I will feel the need to clean the house or finally get that work project done I haven’t been able to focus on. We need to be at a cabin. Or at a lake. Or by a pool. We need to be gone for 12 hours.